Sometimes things happen for which our regrets never end, all the ‘I’m sorry’ phrases we say feels meaningless. The countless tears shed and the all the sweat of hard work seems to go in vain. I know hardwork always pays off and we are rewarded regardless the outcome. Still every person has a special place in his heart for that special thing that he has dreamnt of achieving and when he nearly reaches his goal and is just a fingertip away from it, and the dream is taken away from him…..the feeling of nothingless and numbness is……uncomparable. I hate to put it like this but things done and things said, there are still certain things that sting like needles whenever I think of them. I could have been standing in that place – this feeling hits back – bitter, true, like a hard blow on the gut…..yet we can’t do anything about it, because what is done is done. And is done for the greater good. For the betterment of everyone. For the betterment of our LC.
The day I sat in front of the EC and DG, our LCP elect, I knew the results and yet had to wait for days before the final verdict. I knew that me being in TARC is a big drawback, because an LCVP has to stay with his team and increase the bonding and understanding of then team. What Alvi bhai said was right, I can’t expect others to do my job and take credits for them. But deep down, I still had a small bit of expection. This was a weird feeling all these days, knowing the verdict and yet behaving as if things can change overnight. I know it was very selfish of me, but as I said before, one has a tough time letting go of something he has worked on for so many days, spent so many hours. Its like knowing that a family member is going to die soon, and yet staying by his side, giving him strength, courage to overcome the pain and making him realize that there is a way out of the problem, alhtough all that lies ahead is a cold, dark deadend.
Even before I was about to take a nap this afternoon, I had a wild expectation that I would get a call from DG with good news. I saw a daymare, where I was stuck in a haunted themepark and castle with vampires all over the goddamn place. Finally I was able to escape with the help of my cousin and later realized that the place was ACTUALLY a park where the actors were very realistic.
haha I couldn’t figure out the motto of the dream but I woke up with a call from Jawad Bhai, and Kalvy. And got what was inevitable. Sumit is a good friend and will be an awesome VP. I am sure I could have never contributed as much now because I am stuck here in TARC. For the zillionth time, I hate TARC.
As I said before, some things can never be forgotten and forgiven. But we can start anew with a fresh day and look forward for an even bigger stage to display our talents and visions. Still, since I have already mentioned the word ‘forgive’ a couple of times, I would like to add to
Jawad bhaiya, I am sorry for being so close to the dream that you helped me to visualize and helped me achieve it. I am sorry that I could reach only so much.
Kalvy and Nidal, I am sorry. You two are one of the most awesome teammates and friends a person can want.
To DG and Jui apu, I am sorry that I am so down now. I know with my energy level I reached at AP, this should not be the case. But I am always there and will always contribute my best. Its just that things become easier to handle when you just let it go. Next year inshallah you will see my name in the wooden board of LCP’s Tawseef bhaiya made 😉
I am so sorry Redwan Islam Orittro.